Just four letters, make me stop in my tracks. but it doesn’t matter neither does it point to any sense of urgency that I’ve stopped. For I know not where I am headed. I look left and right, up and down, all I see is emptiness. No one calls out to me neither do I feel my voice strong enough to call out any name.

I see people everywhere, doing something or the other, feeling some sense of purpose (or so I think). I look at my hands. They look young and healthy. The blood rushing through my veins. Full of life. But I don’t see any worn creases, neither do I see any bumps. No work seems to have come to life through these hands.

What have I done to make any difference in anyone’s life? Or my own for that matter. I keep reflecting. I am still lost.

Still. Lost. And screaming inside. Smiling outside.


you meet a thousand faces each day
in a thousand places each day
and one of the few has that little
bit of sunshine on their face

meet everyone on your journey
and its only till then that you know
who’s yours and who you are to
seek the one with the sunshine
on their face

keep laughing my dove
keep smiling at life
and walk with me with the
sunshine on our faces.

Even the smallest of signs can spark your heart’s desire. I watched a movie today – About Schmidt which inspired me again to go back to my roots. To go back to my deepest desire.

Which is to work with women and children. I believe in the prayers of children and despise those who bring tears to their innocent eyes.

I have made a decision but I am fearsome within myself that if I were to speak it out, the fire in my heart would be subsided so this one time I wish to see my action plan come through and live the dream before I can begin to speak of it.

I seek and I will find my path. My willpower to make a difference has still not left me, contrary to what I thought about myself.

India, here I come.

Heart of fire, spark thy desire. Calm thy thoughts but spirit, not.

Heart of fire, spark thy desire. Calm thy thoughts but spirit, not.

bubbling brooks and flowing water, who art thou running after? you tickled the pebbles and kissed the quays, but ran off to marry the oceans and seas.

beautiful beguiling beaches

when I’m happy thinking of you, I feel like some sort of sunshine is going to burst out of my heart into a thousand sparkling shards enveloping the entire world with radiance and warmth..

when you cry and there is nothing I can do owing to the distance, my heart withers and dies instantly.

why is the world round and not flat? i wish it was flat so I could walk to the edge and fall into an endless chasm.

I wish the world was flat

I started too many blogs and left them too empty halfway…and when each valley came into my life, I conveniently forgot about my space in the world wide web where I could shout at the top of my voice, even if no soul was there to ever listen to me. Sometimes it makes sense to shout at walls and hear the echoes.

I start this, yet again with a wholesome heart at the lowest of my valleys in life till now, with full dedication to my family, my all. Here’s to you Amma, Appa and Kutty dearest.

My thoughts towards you are as countless as the sand on the seashore. You are my treasured possession and I live with you in my dreams each night. I pen the memories we shared and made through the years and its ok even if you never get to read them. Because they are all in your hearts as well. Love you